Unchanging Love
by Matt Salem
Summary: This is part zwei to If Only for a Moment. There may even be a third if I so choose, maybe it'll just be a real yaoi, one that didn't end in a pillow fight(you'll get the joke after reading). Anyways, Fluff warning, self harm, feels, implied rape and sexual assault, and a cute ending. Enjoy


A light breeze drifted lazily through the air, stirring the maple leaves and making the part from their branches to dance above the ground. The sakura trees had bloomed, the last flowers raining down in a shower of pale, delicate pink petals that fluttered in the breeze. The sky was dyed a crimson color, the clouds turned deep orange by the setting sun. Kiku watched the beautiful scene from his garden, frowning in the face of it. He sat on the tatami mat, staring blankly at the scenery. His interest was not in this lovely evening, no matter how much he would deny it in front of guests.

He always acted cheerful with allies and in public, but behind every smile was a heavy sorrow. But he went about his days, taking on the duties of his country and fulfilling them while living his separate private life. But in this crimson evening, he thought back to an old promise. He closed his eyes and brought a hand to his lips. He could remember every detail of that day as though it had happened moments ago, but that day was years ago.

For so many of those years he went to wait at the safe place. He went there still when things got extremely bad, hoping to find his love, but finding an empty, desolate field. He had imagined seeing that boy again, but older in appearance. He imagined his voice speaking soothingly, and his warm arms around him. The Asian nation always made himself cry when he did that, wanting to believe that age old promise. He slowly opened his eyes half way. Every day he told himself to believe, and he did. Some days he would even wait up in the evening for that person.

"I wonder if…he's even still looking for me…maybe he's found someone else…" he would say, then pinch himself for even thinking that. He kept up hope, and kept himself away from others to allow his heart to never stray. He kept up his hopes and his believing until a messenger came to him one day, bearing a more than painful message. "Sir, I am sorry to inform you that the Kingdom of Prussia has fallen." he spoke quietly.

Kiku seemed normal at first, nodding and dismissing the messenger. Once he had gone, Kiku broke down, mentally and emotionally. His heart broke into two jagged halves and it hurt so much. The promise he had waited to be fulfilled would never be, his love had been killed. The one person he felt comfortable with, the one who stole his heart, was dead before they could even meet once more.

At first he was angry, then bitter, and then depressed. He was overflowing with emotion; it was too much for the frail nation. It was too much to take in. When he calmed down enough, he tried to reason, but found that impossible. The last rational thought that crossed his mind was about the knife on the nearby table.

Kiku did not hesitate in picking it up and cutting his wrists, his uniform would conceal them anyway. He did this for so long, keeping up his carefully constructed façade. What he didn't know, was that Gilbert had survived the fall of his kingdom, and that he was still trying to get to Kiku. By this time, his role in the war had escalated; he was ready to fight America head on. He was ready for revenge.

What he didn't expect was to be captured as a prisoner of war by the other nation. He was defiant for as long as he could be, but one day, his strength left him. His arms were bound behind him, held slightly upward by barbed wire. His body hurt and so many things had gone wrong. He had kept himself pure and away from others for his love.

But as the Americans' prisoner, Alfred did what he pleased. That included tainting the Asian nation in every sense of the word. For the moment, he was left with his thoughts. The door opened and his body tensed. But these footsteps weren't those of the noisy American. They sounded…familiar in a way. He felt the barbed wire being removed carefully but urgently.

He couldn't tell who this was, but he knew they were an ally. He allowed himself to be carried out, and to a medical center. He heard people talking about his injuries; they were surprised he was still breathing. Of course he was still standing; he was the mighty Imperial Japan. But they still hurt. Whoever had saved him stayed by him, holding his hand.

The hand felt comforting and warm, and a soft humming began. Kiku's mind recognized the tune, and felt his heart leap. He wanted to speak, ask if this was _him_. But he remembered that he couldn't. Gil felt the nation tense up however, and gently tightened his grip on the others' hand. He'd had hell himself through the war.

The beginning wasn't fine either. After the day had been separated, Gilbert couldn't escape. He'd tried several times and found it impossible. So, he began to try and surpass his limits, to become stronger. It was working, but soon the wars started. Gil hated the wars as much as everyone else, but masked it with an unreadable expression. He placed a hand to where his new wound lay, it was bandaged now and the pain died down.

Sometime during the war, Ludwig dissolved his parliament. That was only the beginning. As time went and the war got worse, when things were starting to go in the enemies' favor, he let himself be captured in his brothers' stead. That had been moments ago…everyone seemed to be around him. Some trying to reason, some just standing with fury burning. He took the blame; he decided he would bear whatever they had. The American had shown up and shot him.

He wondered how he survived, but was thankful that he survived. And that he had been able to find Kiku, any longer and the Asian nation might have disappeared. "See? I did it, just like I promised I would…I found you." he mumbled, frowning. He may have kept his promise, but he wondered how badly his love was hurting.

One of the doctors pulled Gil outside to report the extent of the damage. What the man said from the report horrified and angered Gilbert, he hated the American even more than he already did. He wanted to do something, but knew that at the moment it wasn't possible. He could also already hear Kiku's voice chiding him gently in his mind.

The small island nation had always been so peaceful and kind, so why did this have to happen? His grudge against Alfred grew, but he knew that Kiku needed him more now. It took Kiku a month to recover, and Gil never left his side. They soon arrived back to Kiku's home.

Kiku was more than overjoyed to see Gilbert again, to actually see him again. To be able to actually feel the warm embrace, to hear the comforting words, and to hear his heartbeat. Gil's own wounds had recovered as well. "You did come back…" he said quietly, closing his eyes, relaxing in the arms of his beloved.

The Prussian wondered how exactly his schatz had coped with everything. But he smiled and held Kiku tighter, knowing the other would reveal with time. There was so much one had to tell the other, so they spent a few days exchanging stories as they used to, with a few differences. One of those differences included a ring, and they slept together now.

It took quite a few years until things went back to normal, but both were very patient. They had each other forever now, so what was the rush? There were the nightmares where they comforted one another. But one day Kiku did tell the story of what happened to him.

This made his old anger rise, but he beat it down for Kiku's sake. He told him about what happened before he went to find him. This ended in more comforting, and for a moment the Prussian couldn't comprehend how Kiku let his barriers fall and let himself be touched after his experience.

"Why do you still let me touch you after all that's happened? How do you face it?" he asked gently, feeling like an idiot for asking; but he had to know. Kiku was silent for a bit before he finally answered.

"You were my first friend, the only person I felt I could trust. You are the first I fell in love with, and the only one I will accept. When we had to part, I kept believing in our promise, I kept myself isolated to keep from straying if there ever came a day where I ever stopped waiting. I still went to our place in the flower field, I always thought I would see you there, and I imagined you there. I kept a mask of false emotion when I had to go out. When I heard that you had fallen, I took to injuring myself…My heart shattered. What I didn't know was that you were trying to find me still. While I may have been violated, it was you who came for me. You did come back for me. That's why. My trust and love for you have no bounds." he explained, getting a bit emotional.

Gil held him closer, unable to speak. He felt his words would fail him, so he hoped the other would understand the words in his embrace. "So you really did wait all of that time…I'm sorry." Gil apologized, sounding like he did centuries ago. "For what?" "For taking so long to get back to you…on top of that, I wasn't able to protect you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Gil continued, tears welling and falling, but he made no move to hide them or wipe them away.

Kiku smiled softly as he reached up to wipe them away. "It's alright, it isn't your fault, truly. I went to exact my revenge. I failed and got caught, it isn't anyone's fault but my own." he said quietly. "I should have been there to protect you!" the Prussian said, catching Kiku's wrist and holding it gently, he didn't want to trigger anything. It made him feel worse that he wasn't blamed. "You did protect someone, you protected your brother, and that's all you needed to focus on. It doesn't matter now! That's all well in the past. The only thing that matters is that we've been together and that my love for you is unchanging." Kiku continued, moving his captured hand to hold the others'. Gil calmed down after a few hours of talking, and they ended up napping on the couch quietly.

No matter how much time has passed since then, their love is still strong. The only thing that Kiku fears is the day Gilbert may disappear completely, so they always make the most of each day they're together. There are minor fights, literally very tiny. They aren't even considered arguments since they usually end in a pillow fight. Or a hot night. But whatever happens, they still love each other, and that is always unchanging.


End file.
